As for the question of whether to join the Roman Catholic or Eastern Orthodox church, both have valid sacraments and priesthood. Both are, in that wonderful sense, true. But, despite the superior beauty of the Orthodox liturgy, and its exemption from the political and theological strife that plagues Catholics today, my heart and conscience can do nothing but desire to choose Catholicism. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that the Orthodox can answer the liberal deconstructivist with equal strength, showing that there was an uninterrupted through-line of doctrine between Christ and the early patriarchs on which he anchors his faith. Even then, what would this argument be based on? Would it not be based on man’s knowledge and judgment? Would it not be examining the teachings of Christ, and the teachings of the patriarchs, and then saying, “Look, they are the same”? But the very act of doing so betrays a different epistemological basis: reason! The reason, mind you, not of the patriarchs themselves, but of the later theologians who contend for the connection, and, ultimately, to our own reason. Contemplate it honestly: at the root, is it not revealed to be the same way of arguing for validity than Luther or Calvin used?
But the answer of the Catholic Church against the modern who seeks to sever the line is not one of reason, though it is reasonable: it is one of faith in the promise of God: Jesus prayed for Peter, that his faith would not fail, and gave him the duty of strengthening his brothers, when he had returned from that place of humility and humiliation that would make him, in the inverted ways of God, most fit to be the exalted leader of the church. It is the prayer of Jesus that the Catholic clings to. It is the claim that Jesus promised never to let us go astray.
You asked me why I was convinced about the primacy of Peter, and I talked about the scriptures, yes. I wouldn’t have gotten there without them. (The irony is comforting, by the way, for, one who begins to perceive God’s patterns of irony ought to expect that the Baptist, in rejecting the church for the sake of the Bible, would end up both less like the church and less biblical, while the those who cling to the Church rightly would also turn out to be more biblical. But I digress.) But my reason is not merely one of reasoned argument from the scriptures. It is also one that appeals to my heart with a self-evidential power that I hope you see too: Jesus was to be taken back up into heaven, and he was to leave his people behind, subject to the constant attacks of the Devil, who would want nothing more, from the moment of Pentecost, than to literally and ecclesiologically tear them to pieces. He is our Good Shepherd. No Good Shepherd would leave his sheep defenseless. He would not leave them to their own devices. They are sheep, dumb and easily beguiled. Easy prey for wolves. No, if the Shepherd had to go way, he would leave a proxy to defend them all. He must, or he is no Good Shepherd!
Perhaps, a long time ago, I would have said, “Yes, yes, the Holy Spirit.” And that is true. But you and I both have come to a place where we find it insufficient that that Shepherd be merely spiritual. He must be of the flesh, because God’s people are of the flesh, and they need a leader who they can, literally, look to. They need a leader who carries a real staff and can smite real, physical wolves on the head. They need a leader who can speak audible words. We need a bodily leader because we are bodily people and we can only know God through bodies.
Now, if the Good Shepherd put a proxy in his place to guard is people from the Evil One, but that proxy denied that responsibility, and said, “I am only the first among the sheep,” or “I have only been put here as an example that the sheep should follow, but they ought to protect themselves,” or “I have only been given charge of these sheep, not those,” then he has shown himself to be a bad proxy, and the Good Shepherd, who knows all things, would not put such a proxy of himself in place, for he knows that he, in appointing such a vicar of himself, has responsibility to ensure that he will be faithful.
And the thing is, that only the See of Peter claims such leadership. Therefore it is not the claims of Peter that convince me, so much as the fact that neither Constantinople, nor Canterbury, nor any other See claims it along side him! They would claim authority, yes, but they soften it; they shrink back; they do not claim primacy to rival Peter, but say that there is no such primacy anywhere. The authority which makes the deviations of Francis so terrifying is also that which is necessary. (It must be theoretically possible for the Shepherd to stray; that is why it was necessary for Jesus to pray for him, that he would not. And that is why we must cling to that prayer in fear, but hope and confidence that through the cross, Christ won perfect efficacy in his prayer, and that, come hell or high waters, come many political scandals and near-collapses, the Church will come out all right, purified, and saved from vital error, safely home). So, you see, it is precisely the fact that the Orthodox and Anglicans and all the rest are safe, that they do not claim primacy, that invalidates them. For it removes the need for Christ’s prayer, and it means that Christ is not with us, in a vicar of his appointing, bearing the promise and power and responsibility of Christ himself to guard us with Christ’s own power while he is gone. It is because I need the protection of Christ himself, because I need him to be with me, bodily, to shepherd my poor and weary soul in a world filled with heresy and doubt and undermining philosophy, and where I sense the weakness and fickleness of my own intellect and reason. That is why I fall, with desperation, at the feet of Christ, and the one whom he charged to feed me. “To whom shall we go, Lord?”
But if this does not yet convince you, I will share another thought that goes alongside it: I see a heavenly vision of the time when all things will be restored, and Christ’s high-priestly prayer will at last come to fruition. It is like the vision in Flannery O’Connor’s story “Revelation” about the woman who realizes she is like the pigs, and in the end sees the train of people going up to heaven, in which the last are first, and the first last. As in that vision, all the schisms that have pained Christ’s church will be healed, beginning with the most egregious–the pentecostal micro-denominations, and then the baptists, then the presbyterians and methodists and lutherans, then the Anglicans, and last of all, the Orthodox will be restored to the full unity of the church. The Orthodox have been least in need of restoration. They are nearest to the fullness. Thus they too will be restored, though as with a lesser urgency. So do not worry, brother: even if you choose wrongly, and choose Orthodoxy (ha!), Christ will have mercy on your good reasons, and we will be drawn together at last.
But let us take care to guard our reasons for doing things, for if we convert to this or that church for the reason that it is “doing Christianity better,” does this not spring from pride? But if we convert, let it be in order to cast ourselves in need at the feet of Jesus our Shepherd, whose grace will prevail.