I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
My teacher accused me of plagiarism. His words, not mine.
A man gets stabbed in New York every 52 seconds. Poor bastard.
I, for one, like Roman numerals.
Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.
There is no “i” in denial.
I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay.
You’re not completely useless; you can always serve as a bad example.
You can never lose a homing pigeon – if your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you’ve lost is a pigeon.
I didn’t believe my dad was a construction site thief until I got home. All the signs were there.
And The Lord said come forth and receive eternal life. But Frank came fifth and won a toaster.
I have a stepladder, because my real ladder left when I was a kid.
Ben Taylor 